Today I did something that I hope will set into motion something great in my life, reaching my ultimate fitness goals. I took some “before” pictures of myself in one of my swim suits to motivate myself for this summer. Last summer I was more than eager to wear this suit, I had lost nearly 60 pounds and felt really great. But these pictures I just took and how I currently feel about myself and my progress have shown me that fitness is an intense, personal, and continuous journey.
One thing about ALL these pictures, before and after is that I was incredibly happy in all of them and it wasn’t unhappiness that caused me to get fit again, it was my clothes! I know everyone gets motivated by different things and as a devote fashionista, my clothes and fitting into a familiar numerical size and specific style are what truly make me feel good because that’s when I know my body is in it’s happy mode. The before pictures are from September 2010 but by February 2011 I had enough and had very few clothes that were both comfy and appropriate for winter (nice warm jeans are a lot more restrictive than a bunch of summer dresses). Life is so cyclical and that’s the case now, I honestly feel SO uncomfortable in my pants. I’ve gained about 20 pounds back, the first ten from vacationing/a break up and I accepted them because I still looked/felt the same. But the next 10 were from working out less intensely due to a knee injury and a 9-5 job I was so grateful to finally get after 8 months of job searching (8 months that I spent working out 2 hours a day and eating whatever I wanted).
This brings into play another issue. I really like to eat what I want and I LOVE to snack. So many of my friends know I’m a health/fitness nut and my Instagram looks so healthy but to be completely honest with myself, I probably only eat 60% healthy (my main meals) and 40% crap (from all my snacks, which I do consider crap at least because of the amount, but as a vegan there is a lot less crap phew), things that are not conducive to weight loss once you hit a plateau. And that worked out for the longest time. I was slimming down every month, working out like a mad woman, and it felt balanced because I often enjoyed what I wanted and I love working out more than anything. But with all the sitting at work, plus commuting 2 hours a day, the snack calories really add up and I’m starting to notice it on my waistline, which sucks even more because I usually start gaining weight on my hips first and I don’t want to lose my pear shape from my own poor choices. The difference is that the last time I noticed how tight my jeans were, freshman year of college, I put them in my dorm room closet and enjoyed 2 more years of college before I decided I missed my jeans and all my old fabulous clothes and flat stomach. So this time I vow not to miss my clothes which I worked so hard to get back into.
Like I said yesterday, the power of visualization is all I need and I want to use that to remember all the amazing strides I’ve made and remember all the tons of information I’ve learned that got me to the point of getting fit in the first place to really dig into reaching my ultimate goals. My goals are to: (1) find balance and consistency with better nutrition/less snacking, (2) find ways to de-stress, and (3) be patient and more calculated because it’s not as easy now. These 3 goals will lead to weight loss and feeling as fit as I did 6 months ago but I really want to focus on the journey and not a destination so I can teach myself some things I have failed to learn the first time around.
Side note: currently watching the Oscars and loving it! I tweeted so much, rare for me but I wanted to see all the buzz, Perez Hilton’s tweeting was hilarious but also a little mean! What did you think of the show?
The clip from Amour was beautiful. “C’est bon” “Quoi?” “La vie.”